Visit to the beach and park...

Robin Joseph is here!

Robin Joseph

June 11th, 2007

3:45 PM

5lbs 18.5 inches

My birth story (taken from when I actually journaled it):

We arrived at 7AM as scheduled at the hospital for my induction due to high blood pressure. I had wanted my homebirth, and compromised on a birth center, only to be risked out, and there I was...exactly in the situation that was the opposite of everything I wanted about birth. But, I made my peace with it and tried to take a "what will come, will come" attitude. I arrived happy that we would start with the most natural interventions possible (breaking my water).

Upon arrival I learned that my negative strep B test turned positive in the days after (don't you just love it). So breaking my water right away would put me on a timeline that no one really wanted us to go down. It was decided that Pitocin would be the better option for me. I was not happy and asked a gazillion questions about it and the alternatives. Thankfully, I had an excellent nurse who explained everything with me and who understood my concerns. The bottom line though, as she put it, was that the baby was at a very serious risk and it would have to come out one way or another....none of us wanted "another".

So, Pitocin begins....

I was already 3cm dialated and about 70% effaced when I arrived. None of us really thought it would be too much of an issue to get me to contract. So at 9AM, the line was started...and I couldn't feel anything. I felt tightenings but they didn't really hurt and I was talking and laughing and all was fine. Nothing was being picked up on the monitor though...

So they kept increasing the Pitocin. The nurse knew I was not at all happy about this so she really did try to make it light...she teased me and in all honesty, it really did help a lot. I still didn't feel much...definitely not pain.

11:00 AM, I'm still feeling tightening sensations but they really didn't hurt at all. All of it was felt below my belly button. But they did come regularly. Still nothing on the monitor. So the nurse checked me again. I was at 4cm and about 80%. The decision was made that along with the dreaded pitocin increases, they would break my water. I was actually fine with this intervention. It was the one thing close to "natural" that I got to experience by way of interventions go...ha ha ha

So, if anyone were to ask me how to explain the feeling of having your water broken, I don't think I could possibly describe it. It was so gross, and so hysterical at the same time. I kept laughing about it. I knew it would be "warm"...yeah right! Warm actually meaning "pretty darn hot". No pain and I just relished in being "gushy" for the rest of my labor. I had some blood with the rupture so that was a good sign.

Still no pain.

For the next 4 hours, I definitely was feeling surges. The nurse wasn't picking them up and I was pretty relaxed and comfortable. When they came, I could still mostly talk through them but when I couldn't, it wasn't that uncomfortable and I would close my eyes and just completely melt into the bed.

Did I mention that I was pretty much confined to the bed because of my BP. We've got the pitocin, and we've got the "stuck in bed" combo. I was pretty frustrated. I couldn't use the tub and wasn't really allowed up much other than to use the bathroom. But again, I wasn't uncomfortable. I really felt completely manageable and o.k. with everything. Most of my "complaints" about being stuck in bed, etc...were done with levity and humor. It was like a "woe is me" in a mocking sense. I hope I explained that right...

The nurse was getting pretty confused. I dialated to 5, then 6, then 7, and 8 and I was pretty much fully effaced by then and the baby was already abt 0 station when my water was broken. No contractions were being registered on the monitor and I still wasn't feeling more than squeezing in my pelvis. I still had absolutely no sensation above my belly button..or even a couple inches below it. Nothing in my back. The "squeezes", as I began to call them, registered enough for me to have to just rest and relax..but they didn't really hurt.

The nurse was in and out and telling me how she knew I was contracting because she could see it but she couldn't understand why they weren't showing up on the monitor and how I could be at 8cm without experiencing to many problems. Apparently, we were the talk of the nurses station.

I have to tell you that if that's hypnobirthing..then hypnobirthing ROCKS! I hardly felt a thing, on pitocin of all things, until 8cm. It was pretty freaking amazing. I had Joanne being so supportive, and my mom who did Reiki and massaged my feet and rubbed my head. It was so nice. I was so comfortable.

Then things got a wee bit uncomfortable...It went from me just wanting to be done, to feeling shaky and teary, to vomiting, and to pleading with Joanne and my mom because I was trying so hard to relax and was finding it more difficult to do with each surge. I had to go to the bathroom a lot but I guess that was a good thing... I spent a bit of time saying "I'm trying..." to Joanne who responded with "you're already DOING it".

There was a period of time when I know I was whining that I was ready to be done. My surges were like 4-hilled waves. They never really ended before they started again. I was cranky that I didn't get a break more than anything. I wanted a break. They were uncomfortable, but more than anything I needed to rest. Then I remember just getting focused and "mantra-ing" through several multiple-wave contractions by saying "down", "down", and "please baby, move down" through a whole bunch of waves.

I knew my body was doing all kinds of involuntary but helpful things and I was so glad that it was telling me what to do. The nurse commented on how I was "rocking" in bed subconsciously, and how when I went to the bathroom, I would clutch to Joanne the right way and sway and crouch and rock. She said I was doing exactly what I should.

In my heart, I knew this was transition and I so badly wanted it to be over. The whole transition phase only lasted an hour but it was pretty intense. Now what I remember is that the nurse checking me and commenting once again at how "melty" my cervix was. I was at 9 cm but she could very easily stretch me to 10. She wanted me to push.

I didn't want to push.

Now what I experienced was several surges of being encouraged to push because I was "so close" and my body completely rebelling. I pushed on the bed and it hurt, so I resisted. Then the midwife had me get onto the toilet where the pushing was more intense (but I actually WANTED to be on the toilet because it would help me progress).

I NEVER once felt the urge to push and I knew it was too early...but still, I listened..and then complained that I didn't want to do it, ha ha ha. But I kept pushing…

What I DIDN'T know was that the baby's heart and my blood pressure hit very much "danger" zones. They didn't let this on to me but Joanne saw it, the nurse saw it, and my mom saw it. He had to be born very quickly and they did it in a way so that I didn't panic. I a lot of ways, I appreciated that. I got to be "cranky" through it instead of scared.

After the toilet pushing, I moved to the bed and walking there was really weird because I could feel his head inside the birth path at this point. I got into bed and completely zoned out.
I don't remember much other than pushing when I surged and I swear on my life that I fell asleep in the 30 seconds or so in between each wave of pushing. I felt like I was hallucinating or in a trance (not bad for no drugs..huh?). And when I "woke", I pushed. I didn't like pushing. It didn't feel right...but now I know it was just because I never had the urge. If it weren't for the interventions I had, I would have probably experienced it as smoothly as the first 95% of my labor.

This whole pushing phase lasted a mere 30 minutes, if that. After three waves of trance-like pushing, his little head popped out. I didn't feel that "ring of fire" but I started to feel a tight, scratchy-ness and I thought "I'm going to feel that ring of fire soon". (But I never did) Then they told me not to push and I thought I was crowning, but nope, his head was already out. I guess the cord was around him (but I know it's common and although they didn't tell me, it wouldn't have scared me anyway).

So the head didn't feel too weird to me but the shoulders, now wow. It's not that it so much "hurt" because I can't even say that it hurt any more than anything else...but it truly was the weirdest sensation ever. Joanne said I pushed the shoulders and he literally flew out of me. It was pretty amazing.

I never knew that he was purple and tiny because they handed him right to me and he was already fussing. I thought he was a lot bigger than he turned out to be.

The moment I saw him fly out of me, I felt nothing physical in the world. I was completely amazed and thankful for everything. The last hour was hard, and so intense but I still remember thinking "that was it???" .."that's what everyone writes stories and tells horror tales about?"

I was so happy to NOT have had a terrible experience. Sure, at the end, I was whining to Joanne "this is horrible" and "no, I'm not pushing him out" and "my butt is turning inside out" (ha ha ha) but my heart of hearts told me that I was having a really great experience and his birth wasn't this big terrible, horrific event.

I did have a tear (2nd degree?) but I never even felt it. The doctor (amazing advocate, even for an ob/gyn by the way) was literally tugging away at that fishhook when they took my BP and it was a smooth 114/65. My BP after that never got above 120/80 and most of the time was much lower. It was so fascinating to me that birth really did "cure" my blood pressure problem.
The interventions I had really did make things tougher for me...but still, it really wasn't horrible. I know that if I didn't have that pitocin, or confinement, I very well would have made it to the end as comfortably and as painlessly the first 5 hours.

Again, hypnobirthing rocks! And no, I wasn't even listening to my tapes or even trying to actually hypnotize myself. Mostly I just BELIEVED that it wasn't bad and that I could completely relax. Relaxation was truly the holy grail of labor solutions. It was only when I couldn't relax that I felt true pain.

Robin Joseph popped out of me at 3:45 PM weighing a mere 5lbs even. He was 19 inches long (a string bean for sure) and he has this teeny little blonde head. It will be interesting to see if he keeps it or if his eyes stay fair. (Right now they are they normal deep midnight blue that all babies have).

We're so happy with him and although I feel like a complainer at the end, I heard nothing but such love and support from everyone around me. Today I was still being talked about and as the doctor was stitching me, she looked at me and said "amazing...I don't think I could have done that". It made me feel really good about myself because I really did feel badly that I whined through the last hour.

I would do it again in a heartbeat. Even on the pitocin, I would go the same route...in most ways, it was so easy and simple and in others, it was the hardest thing I ever ever had to do. Interventions do stink, but it wasn't the end of the world for me.

I actually now do believe it was a good thing to induce. My placenta was kaput and wasn't nourishing little Robin any more. Even if he had stayed inside, he probably wouldn't have gotten any bigger. We had no idea he would even be as small as he was. A 38 weeker usually runs around 6.5lbs. It did him no service to stay inside and it was only making me sicker.

A truly, positive and incredible experience for me for what we had to work with. No horror stories…completely manageable.

Robin will be here on Monday...

On June 7th I had an appointment to determine how likely my body would be to take an induction. My blood pressure had been remaining high and I had been seeing my doctor a couple times a week.

I had been researching induction methods and wasn't happy that my hospital used cytotek. This is a drug that the FDA has not approved for labor induction and in fact, the drug company itself advises it to not be used for such purpose. It's a drug designed for stomach ulcers. When doctors use it to induce labor, they quarter the pill and place it directly on the cervix. Once it is on, you can't slow it down like Pitocin. There have been much higher incidents of uterine rupture and fetal deaths with this drug and I knew I didn't want it.

Luckily, at this appointment I was elated to learn that I was already 3 cm dialated and 50% effaced. It was the best case scenario and because I was already so progressed, I wouldn't need any kind of cervical encouragement at all. No cytotek. I was very happy. My doctor was to be back in on Monday, June 11th and we made arrangements to arrive at the hospital at 7AM. I was also instructed to not leave the area (so I stayed with my parents all weekend) and she said I could very well go into labor on my own.

Over the weekend I continued taking my evening primrose oil capsules and my raspberry leaf tea. Both are natural labor inducing herbs. (Which worked very well for me because I was even further effaced when I arrived on Monday).

Although I had been on bedrest, I did "cheat" a little bit by walking some with my mom and Joanne. It was exhausting. I had been on bedrest for a few weeks and was completely worn out. We went to check out "crunchy granola baby" which was a new store and I wanted to stop into Whole Foods. I had to stop a lot but I do think the walking was good for me (even though I technically wasn't supposed to be doing it)